The Power of Shadow Tantra

I've got you. Pic by Leela Sky featuring myself and Helena May

I’ve got you. Pic by Leela Sky featuring myself and Helena May

Boom. I have three trainings coming up exploring what I call “Shadow Tantra” – this is the beautiful art and science of combining Conscious Kink, Consent and Boundaries, Erotic Ritual and other specialist practices to explore and uncover parts of the self that have been, for various reasons, mostly left unchartered.

We use the Jungian concept of Shadow – that part of ourselves that, due to our social conditioning, we hide from ourselves and those around us. In the context of Shadow Tantra, we are mostly interested in the erotic part of the shadow as this is where the most potent power is; and the most room for growth.

People cut off their erotic shadows for all kinds of reasons but initially the pattern to cut it off is to do with safety: it is normally unsafe to express most erotic impulses even as children. From a young age when we’re told not to ‘fiddle’ with ourselves in public and in some families we’re not allowed to touch our genitals at all. The rigidity of gender norms puts limits on how we might explore who we are in the world; rampant homophobia strikes all of us with homophobic slurs being widespread in the school playground. In many parts of the world, homosexual acts are explicitly outlawed and anyone who feels such impulses needs to hide them lest they get in trouble with the law. Religious ideologies are often quite specific with what we can or can’t do with our own bodies under threat of hellfire.

On top of all of this, all kinds of sexual shame is thrown around in an attempt to put people in their places. I’m sure you’ve heard some of these terms used as insults: slut, whore, sleaze, sissy, pervert, etc. etc.. As a result, for our own social safety, we are largely forced to suppress our sexualities, especially anything even mildly outside the cis-gendered heteronormative polarity from a young age. This self-suppression helps keep us safer from such ridicule and ostracisation and can allow us to be more accepted in our social circle as we appear to be a ‘normal’ part of that circle.

But hiding our sexuality doesn’t make it go away.

As adults, we have the opportunity to consciously explore our sexuality a bit more – and that’s where events like our Shadow Tantra workshops come in. We use the tools of conscious kink, conscious touch and consent negotiation to navigate our own bodies but that’s just the starting point. We use these skills, combined with erotic ritual and inner world journeys (some call them ‘shamanic journeys’) to explore pieces of our inner erotic landscape both light and dark, vanilla and kinky, mainstream and taboo. Via our own unique consciously constructed journeys we are able to find our own personal erotic gems. We consciously acknowledge these parts of ourselves, befriend them as best we can, and then use erotic ritual and kink to fully integrate them, leading us to wholeness.

It’s such a beautiful thing.

Some of the benefits of exploring the erotic shadow in this way are: we know ourselves better, we are capable of more intimacy, we are better equipped emotionally for what life might bring us, we can heal old wounds and traumas and release blocked emotion. A massive problem in the world is when we (as individuals and as collectives) ‘project’ our shadows onto other people; but by understanding our own shadows we are much less likely to do that and are better equipped to take responsibility for our own emotional wellbeing. When we know our own shadow, we have more courage in facing the world. It follows that we easily become more sexually satisfied to the core of our being as we expand our ability to give and receive pleasure and much more… And as Shadow Tantra is essentially an erotic practice, even if we’re not interested in the more spiritual aspects, we still benefit as we find ourselves having better sex lives with the development of an amazing personal skill-set.

I believe everyone out there should be doing what we can to understand and integrate our own shadows and thereby learning more about ourselves. If would could completely stop projecting our shadows onto other people, that would be amazing; plus we’d be having more beautiful erotic experiences. Joy!

There are many amazing workshops out there and many teachers really capable of helping you integrate your shadow and explore conscious kink.
The School of Erotic Mysteries has workshops on Shadow Tantra coming up in Ireland, London and Melbourne. Please get in touch for further info about the workshops or about sessions allowing you to explore this in private with one of us. All queries are treated with utmost respect and of course totally confidentially.

Much love, Seani

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